There are moments in life when the story we’ve been living begins to feel unfamiliar. What once made sense no longer does. We might find ourselves repeating patterns that exhaust us, responding in ways we don’t understand, or carrying expectations that no longer feel true. Often, we can’t name it at first—we just know that something is off.
It can feel like wearing clothes that once fit, but now restrict and itch. And the impulse might be to blame ourselves: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just get on with it?” But sometimes, what’s happening isn’t failure—it’s friction. The early shape of our story is being outgrown.
The Stories We Live By
From childhood onward, we absorb messages about who we are and how we should be. Some of these messages are spoken—“Be good,” “Don’t be too much,” “Try harder.” Others are silent, felt in the spaces where comfort was withheld or love came with conditions.
Over time, we begin to form an internal script—a quiet story that tells us how to survive. It might say: “You’re only valuable when you’re achieving,” or “Keep the peace at all costs,” or “If you show weakness, you’ll be left.” These stories often help us at first. They protect us. Help us belong. Keep us safe.
But what protects us as children can confine us as adults.
When Something Begins to Shift
Therapy often begins at a point of dissonance—when the old story no longer explains the pain we’re feeling. Clients may arrive saying things like, “I don’t even know who I am anymore,” or “I’m tired of pretending,” or simply, “Something doesn’t feel right.”
This is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign that something deeper in us is stirring.
And this is where meaningful change begins—not with force or performance, but with gentle noticing. With the courage to ask: “Whose voice is this?” or “Do I still believe this?” or even, “Did I ever?”
Finding the Thread Back to Yourself
The process of therapy—at least in the way I offer it—is not about rewriting your story overnight. It’s not about erasing what’s happened. It’s about slowing down, creating space, and beginning to listen to what’s been buried beneath all the noise.
Often, that means meeting parts of yourself you’ve had to push away. The grief that was never spoken. The anger that felt unsafe. The needs that were labelled “too much.” This is shadow work—but not in a dramatic or mystical sense. It’s just the quiet process of returning to what was once disowned.
Over time, what starts to emerge is not a new story imposed from the outside, but a truer one unfolding from within.
You Are Not Broken—Just Becoming
You may not have language for it yet. You may not know what the new story is. That’s okay. Therapy is often the space in-between—between what was and what’s next. Between performance and presence. Between hiding and being seen.
In this space, we don’t push. We don’t diagnose. We sit with what’s here, together. And slowly, with kindness and curiosity, we begin to understand.
If Something No Longer Fits…
…that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It may mean you’re ready.
Ready to return to yourself. To examine what you’ve been carrying. To reclaim the parts of you that were left behind in the name of survival.
And from there, change begins—not quick or loud, but meaningful.